Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
