their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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