Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize