I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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