my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
