We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
