i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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