You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
