carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
