Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
