i don't like sucking hair
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
