I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
