Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
