WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
