Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
