My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
