she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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