just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You took a bar mat shot.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
