giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
