I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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