This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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