kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
