Im at strip club and am horny
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
