Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
