loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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