Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
