Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
