So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
