I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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