you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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