fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
