Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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