worst night to have a conscience
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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