I must be too annoying 4 u.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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