I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
