that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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