ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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