I wish I could punch you in the face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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