there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
