Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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