just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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