i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize