If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
