i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
