I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well I just put wine in my tea
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
