my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
