I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
