I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
