When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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