just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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