Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
