i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize