check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
