Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
