I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
