I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
