Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
accomplished twins. life is a go
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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